Why Do I keep Finding Trash?
*Cues instrumental from the Moesha into*
Dear Diary,
Why are men so predictable? Like really, down to the very steps they take and the next lie they will tell.
Before I begin, let me just say I am not here to bash any of my brothers. I am just calling ya’ll out on your mess.
I have been having an on-going conversation with a newly single friend hipping her to the games that men who are trash play. She is new to the game and learning how to read between the lines and understand what all these emojis mean. – You know what emojis – It has been an interesting experience for me. I am a bit younger than her and though I tend to see people older than me, there is somewhat of a disconnect but we are both trying our best. But the thing about it is that no matter what the mode of communication all trash have the same patterns. Like, just predictable!
So she was telling me about how he had been all chit-chatty and on the phone caking like Fritz and Liv before Jake from State Farm showed up in his boy scout uniform (shout-out to KevOnStage! I miss Cartoon Scandal! If you don’t know, YouTube it now!!! Better yet, here is the link to the playlist) and then he suddenly stopped. Then he came back again but only a little and he had cleaned up his social media looking like he found Jesus all of the sudden… you know how it goes… but would only give her so much. There was no communication outside of certain hours and only phone calls or very limited texts…
Now I know you’re like “come’on sis! You can’t see the signs???” But remember, she is new to this. Last time she dated actively things were much different. There were pay-phones and pagers so cut her some slack. She is tech-savvy but learning how trash operates via text and social media can be difficult if you didn’t grow up in it, or grow it up.
Well, I broke it down to her that he was probably seeing someone else. The only reason a dude does these things is because he is with someone. Trash doesn’t clean up social media for themselves the only do it when they are putting away their thotty ways to be committed to the new love of their lives. They are changed! For like 3 months and then go back to being their Thotty-Thot- McThot-Thot selves. This is the pattern until they finally decide to put it away and be loyal… and unfortunately, it far too often ends up not being with you.
Sooo… why is this a thing? I have no idea. I do know that until a person is ready they will not make any changes in their life. Until an addict is ready they won’t put down down the pipe no matter how much you try to convince them. So clearly in this case and most that I have been involved in, nobody has been ready. Or, as was the case with one of the last children of God I dated, I wasn’t the right person. He ended up marrying the next chick… (and she look like the great value version of me too but that’s a whole other conversation!)
But real talk, I think the problem is that we are trying to fit a square peg into a round hole (no pun intended). I think we so badly want companionship that we put on rose-colored- glasses so we only see the 1 or 2 good things about this person and neglect to see ALL of the warning signs. I think we are so hungry to have someone to be there for us always that we are not careful to see the whole picture. And if we did, we would recognize from the get that we need to run from this trash and run fast!
We need to peep game and see the trash for what it is because when we do, we open ourselves up for something amazing. That being said, I don’t think we ever need to avoid the trash altogether. The trash teaches us about ourselves and how to see the truth. The trash makes our skin a little thicker and us a little lighter on your feet. The trash grows us and helps us to learn more about ourselves. The trash serves a purpose too. Just don’t play in it for too long. Yes, sometimes the trash can be a lot of fun... I mean A LOT but we have to let it go.
